Hello friends--
I am on the verge of taking down my tent and quitting. I initially became a part of this movement because a group of very committed and open-hearted activists had created a space that was open enough for me to feel as if I had a home and simultaneously focused enough for me to feel that I could relate to the issues they were taking on. The Occupy movement nationally is making great strides.
The Occupy Providence movement is making great strides: we are more organized and tightly knit than ever. New committees (“working groups” in Occupy-speak) are being formed. College students are getting organized, with active chapters of Occupy at RIC, Brown, and Providence College. I have heard tell of chapters at CCRI and Roger Williams University as well. But: I went off FB the other day just to take a break, but part of what I broke from was this: besides me and a handful of other friends, the FB landscape appeared almost entirely unchanged. That is, there were very very few posts about Occupy anything. Those on my friend list who posted political information continued to do so. Those who do not are not. I spoke to a twenty-year old neighbor who had not heard of Occupy Providence. Worse still, my neighbor had not even heard of Occupy Wall Street. I went to an Ani DiFranco concert and while I will not go into the details, I will say this: it was if Occupy did not even exist. Not to the audience, not to the performers. I was in a balcony of zombies. It made me sad because I remember how, after 9/11, heartbroken and devastated by the events themselves as well as the blind patriotism that ensued, the Ani DiFranco show I went to was the safest and kindest and most healing place I went. Do we need that kind of devastation to wake us up?  
So . . . Here is what I need. I need someone or someones who can help me make a video for YouTube.  The basic premise is this:
I know that most of you reading this—if you are still reading this—lead extremely busy lives, holding down multiple jobs, raising really amazing children, studying, facing devastating personal crises, and on and on. I also know that many of you have engaged in supportive or political action that I do not know about—that has gone unannounced and underappreciated. Or perhaps you have done auxiliary work—meditated, prayed, been kind to the elderly. I suspect that the idea of getting involved in any larger way is completely overwhelming and in many cases utterly impossible for some. So, I want to make a video (of course, one dreams of having one’s video go viral!) about how one can do something that supports the ideas, practices, or spirit of the Occupy movement in just 5 minutes a day. I need a videographer and maybe some folks to brainstorm the script. I need you to send me your ideas about 5-minute interventions. Please let me know if you can help. As always, lovingly,
Mary

About two weeks ago in chemistry class, I was feeling really overwhelmed by the material. I have told this anecdote many times since.  It felt like my brain just melted—or parts of my brain anyway—and there is even a sound effect that goes with it.  The sound is an imaginary circuit simply melting with a very small “tsssst.” I have been disgruntled and frustrated ever since.  I can’t seem to get back on my game. My motivation has flagged and my interest nearly disappeared. I suppose I should mention that until this point, I actually really liked chemistry.  It has been a hard slog, but I find it fascinating. For two weeks, I have ascribed my meltdown to simply “hitting the wall,” intellectually speaking.  I felt—or perhaps thought—that I simply had received too much information and was burned out. As a result, I found excuses not to study as hard as I usually do and bombed a quiz. Really bombed it—I was lucky to get a 60%. This, after having just posted an “A” as my midterm grade in the class. Today, I am studying for a chemistry exam. As part of that, I went over the quiz. For several of my mistakes, I just thought, “Doh, I am such an idiot.” Not terribly self-deprecating, just kind of foolish. Like I should have known better. But there were one or two errors that infuriated me. I became quietly enraged with my professor. The voice in my head (not hallucinations, just pretty ordinary conversation with myself) said things like this: “That sneaky fucking bastard. He makes it seem like its so easy, no big deal, right, and then he throws these problems on a quiz that are very tricky. Practically trick questions. What an ass!” I also thought/said things like: “I take back every nice thing I’ve said about you to my classmates and friends.  You are a jerk. You are not a good teacher. You rush through things too quickly, do not explain things clearly and then expect us to read your mind. I hate you!” I suppose I should pause also at this point to add that I have loved my chemistry professor and his silly antics. I have enjoyed his style and have considered his tests to be extremely fair. I reflected on the situation and realized that yes, I had fallen out of love with my professor. Not THAT kind of love, but you know, the kind where you idolize someone—it could be a friend, a teacher, a therapist, and so you are in a sort of romantic love stage. Once you get to see beyond the idolization and idealization, your feet land on the ground and you realize your friend or teacher or therapist is not perfect in every way. That’s what I mean. Yes, I fell out of love with my professor. But then I reflected further and was able to pinpoint exactly when that happened and what caused it. A small digression. I cop 100% to my own desire for recognition. This is particularly true academically. While I can put on a humble face at times, I am always extremely proud of my academic achievements. Moreover, this part of my personality has been fed by an array of teachers, friends, family, and lovers lauding my work. What I crave is recognition that I am not your average bear, intelligence-wise. And I often get it.  I like my teachers to know my name, who I am and what I am capable of. I liked it when my lab professor in microbiology put the word “wow” next to my perfect score on the “identifying unknowns” exercise that we’ve been working on for half a semester. I like when the professor calls on me by name. I also try to find a balance. I try to refrain from hogging q and a time to create space for classmates who may not be as outspoken as I am. I try to avoid ridiculous digressions (although I am tempted, and succumb) every now and again). In short, I try to avoid being a nuisance. And suddenly it dawned on me, amidst these reflections, that my chemistry professor does not love me. I mean this in the most symbolic sense. But specifically, I mean is that I do not feel recognized. He never calls on me by name; never writes a word of encouragement on exams or quizzes; and never treats me as unique in any way.  Don’t get me wrong: He treats all his students very respectfully. Problem is, I want to feel special. And despite all of my charming efforts to stand out to him, I have been denied. And then I thought about that day in class when my brain melted down. And I remembered more about how it happened. It happened when I was completely puzzled by a particularly difficult problem. Class was ending, papers were rustling, and the professor wanted to finish a particular section. I did not push him to address my confusion (which was shared by others, I learned later). I did not stay after class to discuss it. I did not go to office hours. Instead, I did what so many middle schoolers, high schoolers, or college students do—I sulked, lost interest, and was on the verge of quitting. I bombed a quiz, and kept going on sheer tenacity because I am not a college student, but a 46-year old woman for whom this is serious business.  The stakes for me are higher than ever before. Blowing it is not an option. I’m writing this down because I wanted to get it out of my system. I thought talking about it would be helpful—there is a chemistry exam tomorrow after all and I’ve got to get back into the game. But as I’ve been writing I’ve noticed something else. My professor is a decent guy. I like him. He’s not perfect. Nothing he did was particularly bad teaching—it was just a busy day in chemistry. It was just a moment when I really needed some help—some very little help—and it was not available. Not a big deal in the long run since I am fortunate to have many resources and supports as I return to school again.
But I am a teacher too, and this whole thing makes me wonder—again—about them. Some of them are far more fragile than I am. Some of them have already been battered by a series of obvious—even violent—and discouraging behaviors by teachers, would-be mentors, and elders in general. So this is just a reminder to myself to never forget that. As for my fellow students, just know that there are many excellent teachers out there who will not give you exactly what you want. If you are really disgruntled, think about why. Maybe it is something you need or want that can be asked for, or maybe you just need to resign yourself to the fact that you won’t get it from a particular teacher. Sometimes, you have to get in the scrum and fight for yourself; sometimes you just have to get through the class with dignity; and sometimes you just have to understand the humanity in both yourself and your teachers, accept each others’ shortcomings, and keep studying.

Hi friends--
Just wanted to update on a few things.  First, that getting involved is not a full-time commitment. Sure, there are a core group of organizers who are doing this pretty much 24/7, but like most of the people on this mailing list, I don’t have the time for that. So I get involved whenever I can. Here’s one big deal, in my opinion: The direct action committee is one of the most active of all working groups. I think this is important for everyone to know for several reasons.  First, the direct actions are not getting much press right now and I think that’s partially because the focus is on the whole question of eviction, whether the city will act, how will we respond, etc etc. But I thought it was important for ya’ll to know that there are a LOT of actions going on. This week alone, I think there are six actions that OP is either spearheading or joining. I think these actions will begin to gain greater attention and numbers once the whole business about evictions settles down. It could be argued that quantity of actions dilutes numbers of participants, but I think this is a new model. I think it opens the possibility for greater participation on multiple fronts. No more do we go to Washington and hope to see a million folks on the Mall as our major source of activism. More importantly, I think these actions give the lie to any notion that there is no agenda or no issues being addressed. Actions this week include protesting at a meeting where Arne Duncan will be (that is, to support public education); a rally to support public libraries (and there are a few specific demands on that, but I don’t feel I know enough to speak on it); and a rally for immigrant rights. THOSE are ISSUES; that is part of an agenda. Many of us know what we want: we are crystal clear. But the desire to maintain a truly democratic process has been greater than the desire to rally beneath a single flag. As for whether we will be worn out. I say: Some of us think that a core group of folks will camp out over the winter, that some might move indoors (I myself am in favor of occupying public institutions like CCRI and URI and RIC, but I haven’t been able to get to work on that)--but almost everyone I know feels like this is not going to go away. I hope for a major resurgence in the spring. Part of this hope lies in the strength of the movement as a whole nationally and internationally.  It’s amazing—from police officers refusing to arrest protesters in places like Albany to the Occupy Nashville group filing suit against their City. I think it is this resilience as well as a general sense of momentum that will keep OP and the movement as a whole in the public eye over the winter. Finally, I have to say again . . .   This is the first time—perhaps in my life—that I have felt that not only do I belong, but also that I can actually be a part of something, specifically, be a part of setting the agenda.  One example is my intention to start a higher education outreach committee. Through profoundly democratic channels, I can make that suggestion, gather support and have resources (ie, other folks and an attachment to a larger movement). I have truly never seen anything like it in my life. What is key is that one has to be proactive in getting involved. I mean, folks should absolutely just go there and be present whenever you can, but no one is ever going to recruit you for anything. It’s very self-motivated. And folks are extremely understanding and thankful for anyone doing anything at all. If you do visit, I highly recommend a decent weather day and also try to catch the General Assembly.  It’s usually at 6 pm, but is sometimes scheduled earlier if there is an action scheduled or some other activity.  
I got very behind in chemistry these past two weeks so I am taking this week to get caught up on studying (alas, I thought I could do it in a tent—and I can, but there’s just so many more exciting things to do!)
Peace!
Mary

Dear Friends
 
Just wanted to let you know that Occupy Providence goes on, despite rain, wind, snow, freezing temperatures and eviction notices. I have not been sleeping in the tent so as to conserve my strength and stay healthy. This was fortunate indeed since the snow collapsed the tarping and the tent itself. But it was easy enough to fix and I hope to return to camp later this week when the weather is less dangerous. I did attend a rally this afternoon and a few of us meditated while the crowd circled the park, chanting and expressing rights to free speech and assembly.  Everything remains incredibly peaceful: there is a real commitment to non-violence by the occupiers and this is uplifting. There will be many activities happening this week, including a trick or treat outing to various corporate headquarters on Monday. For more information, you can visit the OP website: http://www.occupyprovidence.com/
I have been busy keeping up with work and school and this limits my abilities to participate more fully. Nevertheless, I am hoping to suggest and perhaps lead the formation of an outreach committee to reach out to students, faculty and employees of neighboring colleges and universities. Right now, a great deal of activity has been focused on ensuring that we are able to remain in the park indefinitely. Despite the fact that the City posted eviction notices, the feeling of most occupiers is that the City are not eager to actually enforce the evictions.  And no one I’ve spoken to thinks Providence will go the way of Oakland, which was a heartbreak and outrage.  
I hear people say that the occupiers will just go away once the winter really sets in, but if this last bit of weather is any indication, I am not certain that this will happen. There is a core group of extremely committed activists and I know I can speak for myself in saying that I am inspired by others’ work. I am also amazed and uplifted by the breadth of this movement. There are encampments across the US and beyond. It is an international movement. I know many folks have expressed concerned that the movement does not have a concrete list of demands. I have said in other postings that I believe this will emerge. Right now I think the movement has an implicit demand that business as usual not be allowed to continue in Washington and corporate boardrooms. This is a powerful place to start. Personally, I also feel that the Buddhist slogan, “The path is the goal” is indicative of what is going on. As I have said before, real democracy is tedious, slow-moving, and resistant to simple solutions. Creating a democratic path is in itself a noble goal and would be a significant achievement. I am also aware how difficult it is for many folks to be patient. We are so trained to expect quick fixes and rapid gratification. There is something extremely potent about being part of a movement that resists societal demands for an easy answer. Moreover, by building slowly and patiently, we also resist the temptation to collapse the democratic processes that so many have been working so hard to maintain. And finally, I believe that slow and steady development of a movement, from the numbers of humans involved to the evolution of concrete political demands, will help in achieving ensure sustainable and sustained transformation of politics in the US. We still need help. Evidently there is an attorney (yes, one attorney) who has committed to working pro bono on the needs of the encampment. But that is not enough. The ACLU does not appear to want to get involved; I am disappointed but not surprised. Donations remain important, as do boots on the ground. I am considering how to manage/start up a donation locale in Tecumsehville while still attending to my obligations. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated. With gratitude to my friends and family who have supported these efforts. “There is no way to peace; peace is the way.” (AJ Muste)
Mary

Dear Friends:
We need help. The Occupy Providence encampment is alive and well, despite the rain and cold. But we need the active support of the professional classes. I write with a sense of urgency. Here’s why: my feeling until this point has been that the city is going to be slow to act if they chose to evict OP residents. This afternoon, I was present when city workers came to put up new signs announcing that the park closes at 9 pm. This is clearly laying the groundwork for some kind of movement against the encampment. Today I heard a rumor that eviction notices are going to be served on Friday. These events have sped up the timeline, in my opinion, regarding what is needed at OP. I have called this an emergent movement because issues, problems, needs, actions are all being addressed as they emerge.  This is a great thing because OP is taking shape in a profoundly grassroots and populist way. However, if the city of Providence decides to act against the encampment sooner than anyone expected, we do not have as much time to do the outreach work necessary for developing a sustainable movement. So, I appeal to you directly: we need help. This is what we need and what you can do to help.
We desperately need a legal team. We need lawyers or law students. There are two reasons for this. The big picture is that it is possible to sue the City of Providence for having a municipal ordinance that violates the constitutional right to free assembly. This is the strategy that the Occupy Sacramento group has taken—and perhaps others—and I think it is a viable and wise move. The more practical issue is that if and when the city moves against the encampment and if and when people decide to resist, we will need legal support. The commitment to resistance seems evident to me at OP, and the commitment is non violent. I am in process of contacting the ACLU this afternoon, but I have no idea what their response will be. So let me reiterate: we need a legal team. We need civil disobedience training. Many of us who have been involved in political movements know what to do. But there are many young people at OP, many first-time activists and emerging activists. I know it seems simple enough, if you know what to do. But many do not. Training will also serve the important function of giving some structure to the Occupation as whole, and will also be, in my opinion, a motivating force. We need a healthcare/medical team. This means someone willing to coordinate as well as volunteers for round the clock shifts. If you are a healthcare provider, we need you. Legally, I do not know what liability you would have. That is something you would need to find out. But if you have any training whatsoever, we need you. My understanding, and my working approach as a trained but not yet licensed EMT is that any action I take would be covered under the Good Samaritan law, which protects healthcare workers and the general public from liability when acting in good faith in emergency situations. I do not know how that applies in this case. Also—you needn’t jeopardize your license or job because you can help in other ways. Organization, for example. I will be honest, there is a medical team in place, but it is a very ragtag and unprofessional (if well-meaning) group. I think it is urgent that we professionalize this aspect of the occupation.  
We need a wellness team. Some folks struggling with addiction: we need people who know how to run meetings for people in recovert and we need people to coordinate regular meetings on site.  There are people with mental illness: we need social workers and counselors to help provide and/or coordinate assistance. Some folks have spiritual concerns or interests: I have been in contact with an Episcopalian minister who is helping out with this, but she will need help. We need wingtips and high heels on the ground. I mean this: During the day, OP looks very much like a homeless tent city. I myself have struggled wit this appearance, struggled to decide whether I want to cast my lot with this group of raggedy folk. I have done so by pitching a tent (although to be clear, I do not sleep there every night). It has taught me a great deal about tolerance, appearances, and seeing things as they are. But I suspect there are a great many people who support the fundamental idea of the Occupation (I will get to that in a moment), but who are turned off by this appearance. It is wonderful to understand that you cannot judge a book by its cover, but we all know that we all do this to a greater or lesser extent. That means, we need a book cover that really shows the diversity of supportive folks: people who wear suits to work (or even business casual!) People who are fortunate enough to have indoor plumbing, heat, college degrees and maybe even jobs. We are underrepresented at OP and it would be great if this could change. How to do any of these things:

1. Call me for info (email is ok, but my access is a bit limited right now and time is of the essence with some of these issues)
2. Come to the general assembly which meets every day at 6 pm in Burnside Park: find out which working groups already exist and which working groups need help and which need to be formed. Working groups do the bulk of the work which is then turned over the the General Assembly for discussion, votes, etc.
3. Volunteer! Volunteers for other types of work are also desperately needed: the food group needs help, for example, coordinating donations.
4. Donations are needed: the best thing to do would be to go down to the park info booth and see what the most urgent needs are. But I can also list a few here: tents, tarps, tent stakes, lines, etc etc. First aid stuff: bandaids, topical antibiotics, warming blankets, etc etc. COFFEE CREAMER!!!!!! (that’s kind of personal, LOL)
5. You can mobilize others around you—coworkers, colleagues, students, friends. Maybe you are not a lawyer, but maybe you a retired one looking for a good cause. Maybe your company can donate cases and cases of coffee creamer!
6. Visit and stay for as long as you can. Bring a book; bring your kids; bring your dogs; get some takeout and eat a meal down there. Come in the evening and join the drum circle.
7. By a cheap tent and a tarp and camp out—one night, two nights, whatever. Take up space.
8. Forward this email freely. Tell everyone you know that you know at least one person (and maybe many more) in the OP encampment. Vocalize support at any opportunity.

October 26, 2011

Dear Friends:
First of all, many thanks for your various messages and offers of support. I know I cut a somewhat radical figure, walking through the world as I do, tough as nails, toughing it out, fearless. But as many of you know, some of this is cover for something deeper: that is, despair. I am by nature and nurture, a hopeful person. But hope erodes. At first it was the difficult 80s, when greed and aggression spread like a virus. Then it was the 90s and some kind of hope. We thought we had a president who understood us. I still think he did. But he made some major policy decisions that turned out very badly. I will cite only NAFTA at this point. Then it was the new milleneum. It started out feeling as if we were being attacked from the outside. It did not take very long for me, at least, to understand the extent to which we were being attacked from within. President Obama did give me hope. I never thought I would live to see an African American man become president and I still get a positive charge every time I see him behind that podium. I think it is important in many ways that our first lady is a beautiful black woman, and that Malia and Sasha are growing up in the Whitehouse to end all white houses.
But of course, President Obama has been a disappointment. He has disappointed so many of us—whether it be regarding environmental issues, LGBT issues, banking issues, federal regulatory issues. I nevertheless refuse to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I think the Obama candidacy sparked something that had not be seen in a very long time. I am not going to call it hope, I am going to say it was a sense that someone in power actually cared about the likes of you and me. Sadly, I do not think that is true. But the end of that truth provides an opening to a new view. It does not matter if those with the vast majority of wealth and power care about us. We care about us. I have seen this every day that I have been at Occupy Providence. I have seen humans caring for other humans. I have seen humans being aware of their natural environment. I have seen people who would normally not give it a second thought picking up their cigarette butts and putting them in the trash (in this, I include myself). I have seen people wait and wait and wait their turn to speak at meetings. They wait and they speak, and in the meantime, they listen. They get frustrated, they leave, they come back. Right now, our resources are limited and so we find ourselves mostly in the situation of hoping and waiting for people to join us. We all know we have to reach out, but we are stretched thin. But  people are leaping into the breach. Example: on Sunday, a group of Episcopalian ministers came down and held a worship service. I ran into one of them today, “Father” (LOL) Jennifer. She is beginning to take on outreach to other faith-based communities to get them involved.  She is just doing it. And that is how things are happening at OP. I do not need help, personally. I am getting home on a fairly regular basis to switch out clothes, do laundry, have a lovely dinner with Diane and Red. But this movement has needs. We need each other. Finally, I want to reiterate this one point: the “movement” has been critiqued for lacking a specific message and purpose. To a certain extent, this is true. There is no one specific message, policy initiative, or focus. To me, THAT is the most revolutionary part of the whole thing. We have been trained to listen, learn, think and speak in soundbites. In “Occupy” there is a very organic and unaggressive refusal to be captured that way. This is so deeply resistant. Think about it: FB, Twitter, the newsfeed, our world, everything designed and packaged and ready for the soundbite. The soundbite itself discourages dialogue, critical thinking, and complexity. To refuse that is to say no, loudly, peacefully and profoundly. It is a relatively small group in Providence. But the implications are profound. And as always, we need reinforcements. Tents are cheap right now—on sale and everything!  You don’t even have to sleep out. Just claim space. Just stop by. Listening to St. Vincent’s latest release lately. Cliched as it is, I can’t help but be captured by this lyric: “It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s the one we got.”
Namaste, Mary

October 24, 2011

Hello friends--
I didn’t spend much time at the OP encampment today.  I was mostly at school, studying and growing microbes, making soap, etc etc. Todd spent the night last night and we both slept well.  Thanks for the muffins Todd!  
Also, many thanks to Diane for logistical support. I could not be doing this without her and I am grateful.
I plan to go back down tomorrow after teaching at RISD and play it by ear from there.  Right now, the OP General Assembly is in discussion with City Officials.  The encampment is not legal in the letter of city law, but it is my belief (which I think is widely shared) that we are engaging in an act of civil disobedience, from a morally just and constitutionally protected position.  The Mayor has promised that there will be no arrests, but remains firm on his position that the encampment cannot go on indefinitely. I believe the city is seeking an injunction of some kind and I believe there will be a legal case eventually. There is a great deal of discussion on this issue which I will not recap right now. The General Assembly meetings are rather amazing. For those who have been activists for many years, you would find a sense of familiarity, with its attendant frustrations when debates get heavily into semantics and such. But the process is rather amazing to watch. If you ever want to get a sense of the politics of this occupation, I would recommend the General Assembly (GA)—every day at 6 pm. Usually goes two hours—don’t have to stay for the whole thing. Lots of voting, friendly amendments, yays, nays, blocks, clarifying questions, points of information, hand gestures to signal assent, dissent, etc etc.  During the day, numerous working groups meet and present various proposals to the GA for consideration. That is how the recent letter to city officials was written. Thankfully, in my opinion, votes are based on a simple democratic vote, not consensus. But there is so much process before anything comes up for a vote that I think  there is ample space and time for all voices to be heard. That’s it for now. I thank those of you who have written personal messages and will get back to you as soon as possible. I have a bit of a break tomorrow and hope to get caught up on email and  . . . . Chemistry!
Special shouts out to my parents who have been incredibly supportive. I am well and safe and happy. Namaste,
Mary

October 22, 2011

Comrades: I committed.  And you know what that means in a consumer-based economy . . . I bought stuff.  I bought a tent, a new sleeping bag, a really cool rechargeable LED light workshop light, and an inflatable airbed—cuz, really I am not all that into the whole sleeping on the ground thing. This afternoon I am moving into Burnside Park to join the Occupy movement. Q: How long are you gonna be there?
A: Don’t know.
Q: Do you need anything?
A: A sketchbook would be awesome—nothing fancy. Q: What are you gonna do?
A: Homework, play guitar. Basically what I do at home, except without the TV and computer. Q: How can we get in TOUCH with you . . . what, NO COMPUTER?
A: Phone number below.
Q: How much room is in your tent? Are visitors welcome?
A: I got a great deal on an 8-person tent, so there is room for others—overnight or otherwise. Q: Are you going to get arrested? A: Not if I can help it. Q: Are you really going to NEVER leave the park for the time being?
A: Of course I’m going to leave on occasion—I have classes to go to, classes to teach, showers to take, therapy to go to, meals to eat/make/collect. 

Mary

Dang I am torn.  I have decided to pay attention to football this year. By this I mean watching games, having a rough idea what's going on, what the teams I like are doing. Basic stuff, not the stuff of super-fandom. This morning I realized that in doing so, it has helped me through my Sunday blues.  Sunday blues: haven't to get back to school/work, not wanting the weekend to end, etc etc. Plus, watching football gives me a sense of the passage of time and provides me with some kind of a common language with which I can relate to the dominant culture (of course, such relation, communication even, is a fantasy, football is not life.  But really is what we see learn talk about re: football any more "real" than our supposed, various "realities." Really?) So I was excited about watching the Buffalo Bills play Philadelphia today. I live to see Michael Vick sacked, cuz ya know, I feel like every hard hit is a blow against animal cruelty. But then I started to read about the Occupy protests around the country. They have been hovering on the periphery of my consciousness, but I have cut down on my communication with the outside world.  Just too much mayhem, and its too easy for me to get distracted.  Now this might sound strange because I am by constitution, a politically engaged person. But I really need to get through Chemistry, Microbiology and the classes I teach. Besides, I have the NFL to mark my weeks. Besides, how much less real is the NFL? 

Still. Reading about the OCCUPY movements, I felt a swoon.  Dang, this stuff is gonna ruin my perfectly innocent interest in the Buffalo/Philly game. 

But I am going to resist that as well. That sense of guilt. That sense that if I partake of completely ridiculous entertainment that I am somehow not doing my job as an active citizen. As if it matters whether I watch football or wring my hands. As if anyone gives a shit what I do this afternoon. I'm watching football because I like it. The problem is not me watching football because I have a simultaneous critique of football, of the culture in which it takes place, of the bullshit the NFL helps to normalize and propagate. But one more football fan with a critique of the role of football in our culture, with knowledge that this is "entertainment," that it is not real but that it can lead me to questioning whether what happens on the gridiron is any less real than the reporting we actually get about the OCCUPY movement. Seriously, seriously.  At least the dudes calling the football game offer focused, relevant and relatively TRUE critiques of the game they know.  Can we even say that much about any reporter of "real" news? In a socio-political landscape of lies, lies and more lies, is is possible at all that professional football actually hovers closer to some kind of truth? 

Touchdown, Bills. After an interception of Vick, the dog abuser. Yes, that feels like a real feeling. Yes that feels, weirdly like some kind of justice. 

I am speechless. Troy Davis was executed yesterday.